SAFIYYA

da wanda kike so and I don't want to be the reason da zai saka a raba ku". Na gado kaina ina kallon sa, part of me yana jin dadin cewa bai san maganar cikin jikina ba, part of me kuma was sad that he maybe the one da zan aura and he just told me cewa baya so na. Na ce "I understand. Kana da wacce kake so" yayi murmushi, a lokaci daya na kara fahimta dan na san irin wannan murmushin. Na hadiye wani yawu mai daci ina hango irin murmushin a fuskar Muhammad, wata irin kewar sa tana kara lullube ni, yace "Yes, ina da wadda nake so. Ban ce ta fiki da komai ba but I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her". Nayi masa murmushi. "I understand. Kuma ina so ka sani cewa nima akwai wanda nake so, so mai tsanani. So in auren mu ya kasance sai dai in kaddarar mu ce haka. But I am not promising cewa Daddy will listen to me because things are totally beyond my control" Na bude kofa zan fita sai na kara da cewa "and I am sorry you are dragged in to this". A gidan su na wuni ranar, mamansa mai kirki wadda dama kullum muka hadu bata da zancen sai na mamana and how close they were kafin rasuwarta. Wannan ya sa I always look forward to meeting her dan insha labaran da suka fi komai daɗi a kunnuwana amma a ranar sai na kasa zama muyi magana nace mata na gaji kwanciya nake so inyi. Ta bude min dakin da na fahimci an riga an gyara shi saboda zuwan mu, ta kuma kai min duk abinda ta tabbatar zan bukata ni kuma na karba nayi mata godiya, sai dai bata amsa ba sai ta bini da kallo kawai, and then I saw a look on her face, a look of disappointment and anger, sai dai bata ce min komai ba ta juya ta fita. But I knew it, a matsayin ta na uwa ta gane ciki ne da ni and she is disappointed in me, and angry at me, because she cared. Na zauna a bakin gado ina jin feeling ɗin da zuwa yanzu na saba da jin irinsa amma kullum intensity ɗin sa karuwa yake yi a zuciyata. Feeling na son mutuwa. Feeling na tsanar rayuwa. Na rufe ido na nayi addu'a a hankali "Allah ka ɗauki rai na a daren yau". Sallolina na tashi nayi sannan na janyo fillow na kwanta na rufe idona tare da fatan bacci zai dauke ni ko na manta da halin da nake ciki, ko da na yan mintuna ne, amma sai dai maimakon bacci sai tunaninnikan halin da rayuwata take ciki ne suka yi ta overlapping kansu a cikin kaina. Har ban san wanda zan dauka daga ciki in duba ba, batun rabuwata da Muhammad ne ko na halin rashin lafiyar da Daddy yake ciki ko kuma na auren da za'a yi min da wanda bana so ko kuma karatuna da nayi asarar shekara uku inayi wannan alakakan cikin da yake jiki na ko kuma tunanin hanyar binciken waye uban cikin ko kuma na vultures din da suka dira akan akaina suke tsatstsagar naman jikina da rai na? Na tashi daga kwanciyar na zauna ina lissafin rabon da inji dan cikina ya motsa tun a Nigeria. Naji wani irin relief a zuciyata "Allah yasa ya mutu" na fada a hankali tare da dora hannuna a saman cikin na dan danna da dan karfi, da karfin shima ya harbo kafa ya doke hannuna, naji wani kulukun bakin ciki ya tsaya min a makogwaro. Sannan na kara number a cikin list na abubuwan da ya kamata inyi tunani akai, "menene makomar abin da yake cikina?" Daddy yace za'a cire shi nan da wata daya da yan kwanaki, amma shi kansa yace bai san yadda zaiyi dashi ba in an ciro shi. Ni kam ko kallon fuskarsa bana bukatar yi and I will definitely not keep it with me. Dan watarana zan iya shake shi cikin dare... Nayi sauri na kawar da tunanin daga raina sannan na koma kan next in line, waye zan zaba a cikin choices din da Daddy ya bani? Definitely not Mustapha. I rather die than in auri Mustapha. And then Abdul dazu ya gaya min da bakin sa cewa baya sona, and bai san da maganar cikin nan ba and I don't know yadda zai dauki maganar idan ya fahimci cewa cikin shege nayi shi yasa a keso a makala masa ni, definitely he will hate me forever. Sai kuma Mukhtar. Mukhtar has been obsessed with the idea of marrying me a cikin shekarun nan. But he doesn't love me. Ni na san abinda yake yiwa, it is the same thing as abinda yasa Mommy take ta nacin a haɗa ni aure da Mustapha, Daddy ma kuma na tabbatar ya sani sai dai kokarinsa na binne abin kunyar da yake ganin nayi ne yasa yake kokarin chosing din su dan yasan zamu juya su suyi abinda muke so dan su samu abinda suke so. Then wanne ne zan zaba daga cikin su kenan? Naji maraici ya sake lullube ni. Babu abinda nake bukata a lokacin illa in samu someone older that I can talk to, wanda zai bani shawara ba tare da wani selfish interest a cikin shawarar ba. Naji ina kewar mahaifiyata kuma ina takaicin rashin sanin kowa a cikin danginta. Na dauko handbag dina na bude na dauko yar karamar purse dina na bude ta itama na dauko wani tsohon hoton katin da nake yawo dashi kullum a cikin jaka. Hoton wata mata ne a zaune akan kujerar gidan daukan hoto irin na kauye, da yara yan mata su uku a jere a bayan ta. Babbar zatayi sheakara goma, mai binta takwas, yar karamar kuma ba zata fi shekaru biyar ba. Duk su ukun da ita suke kama, nima kuma da ita nake kama. Na shafa hoton da hannuna ina lura da yadda duk su hudun suke murmushin da yake nuna yadda suke kaunar junan su, yadda suke cikin farin ciki duk kuwa da talaucin su wanda ake iya gane wa a cikin hoton ta yanayin kayan jikin su. They all had a rough life, a rough ending, but they are all fine now, they are all together now. In Janna insha Allah. Babu kuma abinda nake so a lokacin illa nima in bisu, illa in tafi gurin su. Na dora hoton akan kirjina na rufe ido na sannan nayi kokarin mantawa da komai sai tunanin yadda rayuwar mu zata kasance a Janna tare. A haka bacci ya dauke ni Cikin baccin naji an taba hoton dake kan kirjina. Na zabura da sauri kamar wadda za'a cirewa rai na damke hannun wadda ta dauki hoton. Ido na na shiga cikin na Mommy. Na saki hannun sannan na sauke ajjiyar zuciya na koma na kwanta na mayar da ido na na rufe. Ta juya hoton a hannunta tana kallon mutanen ciki, sai kuma ta zauna akan gadon tana kallona tace "baba Hadiza,  Saudat and the poor little Khadijah. Babu abinda Safiya take magana akai sama da su. They were her inspiration....." "And she is mine" na fada a hankali ido na still a rufe. Tayi ajjiyar zuciya sannan ta mayar min da hoton inda ta dauke shi tace "she is ours. Gabakidayan mu musamman babanku ita ce inspiration din mu. Duk hukuncin da zai yanke a rayuwa sai ya saka interest ɗin ta a ciki. What will she think? What will she say? What will she do? Kullum sune kalmomin sa. Bana kishin ta Safiyya, ban taba jin raina ya baci dan yayi considering dinta ita da bata raye before yayi considering di na ni da nake raye nake kuma matarsa ba, ban taba jin kishi ba, besides ina jin guilt ne na cewa she should be alive, ita ya kamata ta rayu ba ni ba, she should be here enjoying the empire she built with her blood and sweat. But ba haka Allah yaso ba Safiyya, and we can't question hukuncin ubangiji. I will understand if you don't like me Safiyya, maybe irin tunanin da nake yi kema kina irin sa cewa ina living the life that should be safiya's, but I cant wrap my head around the pact that you don't like Mustapha. Me yayi miki shi?" Na bude ido na amma ban kalle ta ba kuma ban ce komai ba. Ta sauko daga kan kujerar ta zauna a kusa dani ta cigaba "Daddy ya gaya min kince ba kya son Mustapha. I won't say nayi mamaki dan tuni na fahimci yadda kike yi masa but I thought kawai kin kasa accepting dinsa ne as a brother ban dauka kin tsane shi bane ba, ban dauka zaki iya putting future din ki da kuma martabar ki in jeopardy kawai saboda mere sentiment". Ta karasa maganar cikin daga murya. Na mayar da ido na na rufe na kuma mayar da hannuna na dora akan hoton kan kirjina. Ina jin ta tana kokarin daidaita muryarta sannan tace "am sorry Safiyya. Am sorry na daga miki murya. Amma ban taba tunanin haka daga gare ki ba. I love you with all my heart Safiyya. Haihuwar ki ne kawai ban yi ba. Idan ke baki sani ba shi mahaifinki ya sani. Soyayyar ki ce ta kawo ni gidan ku. I never expected cewa ke zaki ƙi jini na Safiyya. I never expect kuma daddy zai rufe idonsa ya goya miki. Not after all that has happened" ta sake yin shiru, nima kuma ban bude ido na ba ban kuma yi magana ba. Naji ta kama hannuna ta rike a cikin nata, ina jin yadda natan ya dauki zafi, ta kuma cewa "Safiyya, yanzu duk duniya wa kike tunanin kina da shi da zai rufa miki asiri bayan mu? Wanne family kike da su bayan mu? Ahmad? Kina ganin dai abinda yayi miki a cikin gidan babanki ballantana in kin je gidan shi. Ko kuma Abdul ɗin gidan nan da mahaifiyar sa tun kafin in karaso gidan nan ta kira ni tana tambayar ko abinda ta gani a tare da ke gaskiya ne. Ta yaya kike tunanin zata karbe ki a matsayin sirika? Safiyya idan ma ba zaki yi tunanin yadda zanji a raina in kika yi rejecting jini na ba think of your future and the future if your unborn baby. Think ki gani ina ne kike ganin yafi dacewa da ke". Sai ta saki hannuna ta mike ta shiga toilet. Na bude ido na ina kallon kofar toilet ɗin ina jin zuciya ta babu daɗi, tabbas Mommy tana nuna min soyayya da kulawa dai dai yadda ya kamata, bata taba cutar dani a bayyane ba, not that I know of, bata taba yi min mugunta ba tun ina yarinya har na girma, tun bata san gaskiyar wacece ni ba har ta sani. Sanin nata ya chanja abubuwa da yawa, the changes may be reality or just a pigment of my imagination dan bani da tabbas a kansu. Abinda nake da tabbas akai shine she doesn't deserve a cold treatment from me, Safina ma haka. Mustapha is a different case duk abinda nayi masa bani da nadama amma su dai, especially Mommy ya kamata inyi kokarin kyautata mata ko dan kaunar da take nuna min. Amma kyautatawar ba zata yi involving auren Mustapha ba, in na auri Mustapha da shi zan zauna ba da ita ba and I won't subject myself to lifetime of emotional torture saboda in kyautata mata. Ina kallon ta ta fito ta tayar da sallah nima na tashi na shiga toilet na sake alwala na fito nima na cigaba da sallolina. Sai bayan sallah asuba sannan na hau gado na kwanta bacci mai nauyi ya dauke ni. Cikin baccin naji maganganun Mommy da na Aunty Hajjo suna maganganu, nayi shiru ina son jin me suke cewa sai naji Mommy tace "to har yanzu dai bata fadi waye ba. Ko ta sani ko bata sani ba Allahu a'alam". Aunty Hajjo tace "ikon Allah. Kuma ku bakuyi komai akai ba? Kuka zauna kuka zuba mata ido?" Mommy tace "munyi iyakacin kokarin mu fa, babu abinda bamuyi ba. Munyi running duk options din mu amma ta rufe kowacce hanya da za mubi mu samo wancan yaron da muke zargi" Aunty Hajjo tace "makarantar su fa? Kun bincika ba'a can yaje ba?". Nayi juyi kamar a lokacin na tashi. Mommy tayi gyaran murya sannan tace "ki tashi Safiyya ki ci abinci ki sha magani. Zan koma asibiti gurin Daddy". Na tashi da dan sauri na sannan nace "Mommy zan biki dan Allah. Zanje in ganshi" ta tabe baki kawai bata ce komai ba, da alama har lokacin fushi take yi dani. Na sauko daga gadon na gaishe da Aunty Hajjo, ta amsa da ɗan sakin fuska kadan ba kamar jiya ba amma kuma babu annurin da nakan gani a tare da ita da. Da sauri na shiga toilet nayi wanka na fito jikina lullube da hijab, na debi kayana na koma toilet din babu wanda yayi min magana a cikin su, sai dana shirya na saka wani hijab ɗin sannan na sake fitowa na tarar sai Mommy ita kadai a zaune. Ina zama ta bare magunguna ta miko min tana cewa "na lura in dai bani na baki maganin nan ba ba kya sha Safiyya, ke baki damu da kanki ba ballantana ki damu da wanda ya damu da ke". Na fahimci magana take gaya min amma ban ce komai ba sai kawai na karbi magungunan a hannunta na watsa su gabaki daya a baki na hadiye. Ta tsaya tana min kallon mamaki, ta san da in zan sha magani wani lokacin sai ta kira Safina sun hadu sun danne ni sannan zasu dura min, in sun gama durawa kuma in ba sa'a suka yi ba in yi musu amai a jiki. But now I do not care about anything anymore. Except for Daddy. Ta ce "kinga yanzu ba zama zan ringa yi a gida tare da ke sosai ba. Ki ringa shan magani ko dan ki samu lafiya da karfin jikin da zaki rabu da abinda yake cikin ki lafiya". Na daga kafada "but I don't need it. Daddy yace I won't labour. Za'a yi aiki a cire". Ta saki baki tana kallona, na lura da bacin rai a fuskarta farko ban fahimci dalilin bacin ranta ba sai daga baya sannan na fahimta, Daddy bai gaya mata decision dinsa ba. Ta ajiye robar ruwan hannunta tace "yaushe ne kuka yi wannan shawarar ke da shi?" Na sunkuyar da kaina "ba shawarar mukayi ba Mommy. I thought you knew. Nima gaya min kawai yayi. I am sorry. Zan ringa shan maganin". Ta mike tsaye "ki dauki abinci ki ci ki fito mu tafi. In kuma shima abincin kunyi shawarar ba sai kin ringa ci ba shima sai ki gaya min in daina bata lokaci na akan kokarin baki. Na bar Safina ita kadai a gida, na bar twins a lokacin da suka bukata ta, and I am here a gurin da ba'a bukata ta". Ta juya ta fita da sauri Nima da saurin na hada tea na sha sannan na bita a baya. Ina fitowa sitting room dinsu naga Abdul ya shigo da sauri, yana gani na yayi murmushi "daddy's girl, ke muke jira" ban bashi amsa ba na bishi a baya muka fita. A asibiti muna zuwa muka shiga ciki, Mommy tana gaba ina binta a baya tunda ita tasan gurin. Muka je reception sai naji tana tambayar receptionist din da muka samu a gurin ko an shiga da Daddy gurin aikin da za'a yi masa. Na bude ido ina jin zuciya ta tana bugawa da karfi. Naji matar tace a'a ba'a fara ba an dai yi sedating ɗin sa. Ta nuna mana hanyar da zamu je dakin da aka kaishi. Mommy ta juya zata tafi na tari gabanta da sauri nace "Mommy aiki? Wanne aiki za'a yi masa kuma?" Ta bata rai tace "ba wani major aiki bane ba fa just a minor non surgical operation zasu yi masa suyi clearing airways ɗin sa dan ya samu sauƙin numfashi. I signed the consent yesterday kafin in tafi". Cikin daga murya nace "and why wasn't I informed?" Sai kuma na rufe bakins da hannayena biyu feeling terrible, na kama hannayen ta "Mommy I am sorry, I am very sorry. I don't know menene ya hau kaina, my emotions are all over the place. Please I am sorry" ta dafa hannuna tace "it is okay. I understand. Go and see him". Na juya da sauri mai kama da gudu na tafi dakin da aka ce yana ciki. Ina shiga na ganshi a kwance, flat on hus back, duk da cewa naji sunce allurar bacci suka yi masa amma sai da ganin sa a haka ya tayar min da hankali. Na tsaya ina kallon sa, trying so hard not to imagine ranar da zan ganshi a haka babu rai a jikinsa. Sai naga ya mirsa hannunsa ya bude idonsa ya sauke su a kaina. A hankali naga murmushi ya bayyana a fuskarsa, irin murmushin da yake yi da idan ya ganni. Ya miko min hannunsa "Safiyya. You are here? Zo nan" na tafi da sauri na kama hannunsa da duk hannayena biyu ina jin kamar in tsaga kirjina in saka shi a ciki. Yace "I just had a dream. A very bad dream. Wai wani abu ya faru dake, something terrible. I am glad it was just a dream. I am glad you are okay" sai ya mayar da idonsa ya rufe ya koma bacci. Na kankame hannun sa a kirjina ina kuka "I am sorry Daddy. I am really sorry". Sai da doctors din suka shiga sannan Uncle Sufyan ya fito dani ina ta kuka kamar wani major abu za'a yi masa. Da kyar ya lallashe ni nayi shiru, ina kallon Abdul yana yi min dariya but I didn't find his laughter funny. Sai da nayi shiru sannan Uncle Sufyan yace inzo muje gurin obstetric ɗin da zai ke dubani, I wanted to stay har Daddy ya dawo hayyacin sa amma yace an riga anyi appointment dole inje a ganni. Section daban ya kaini a asibitin, yayi musu magana sai ya tafi ya barni a gurin su, suka dauki duk vitals ɗina da duk wani gwaje-gwajen da ake bukata na masu ciki suka yi recording sannan suka shigar dani gurin doctor ɗin. Shima dai tambayoyin yayi min sannan ya duba duk results din tests din da akayi min. Sai kuma yace in kwanta zaiyi scanning. Na kwanta na rufe idona, ina jin sa yana goga abin scanning din a ciki na amma ban bude ido ba. Naji yace "a healthy baby. As happy as a puppy" sai kuma yayi dariya, ni kuma ban ga abin dariya a cikin maganar ba. Ya ce "will you like to know the gender?" Nayi sauri na girgiza kai na still idona a rufe. Ya sake cewa "open your eyes and look at it" na sake girgiza kaina. Haka yayi ta tsokana ta yana jana da hira dan in saki jiki amma ni ko a jikina. Sai da ya gama na dawo na zauna sannan ya fara yi min bayanin yanayin lafiyar babyn da kuma abinda zan iya fuskanta nan gaba kafin lokacin cire babyn yayi. Ya kara tambaya ta idan da gaske ina son a cire babyn at 7 months na amsa masa da yes, ni da zasu cire shi at 6 ma so nake yi. Har sai da ya gama yace zan iya tafiya, na mike tsaye sai kuma na dawo na zauna ina jujjuya hannu na. Ya tsayar da hankalin sa a kaina yace "is there something you want to talk to me about?" Nayi shiru kamar banji shi ba ina cigaba da jujjuya hannuna sannan na dago kai a hankali nace "when the baby is out. I want to give it up for adoption". Yayi shiru yana kallona fuskarsa da mamaki sannan yace "are you sure? Are you sure this is what you want to do?" Na gyada kaina "I am sure" ya girgiza kansa "I have to talk to your father about this. He didn't mention something like this. I need to....." Nace "I am 21 years old. I am legally old enough to make my own decisions" ya duba file ɗina, maybe to confirm the age, sannan ya sake kallona yace "what about the baby's father. We need to have his approval as well. He needs to.." Nace "there is no father. I don't know who the father is. I was raped" kalmar rape ɗin da na fada ta saka hawaye suka fara bin fuskata, and that caught his attention. Na ga alamun tausayi a fuskarsa, sai kuma yayi dan rubutu a cikin takardu na sannan yace "I am sorry for what happened to you. But I still need you to go home and think deeply about this. If it is still what you want when you come in for your next appointment then we will take the next step. There are papers that you will need to sign. And you have to decide if you want an open adoption or closed adoption. An open adoption is when you leave all your informations so that the baby and it's adoptive parents can keep in touch with you, while a close adoption is when the baby can never be traced to you, you will have no relationship of whatsoever with the baby ......" Direct nace "closed adoption. I want to give up the baby for a closed adoption". Ya cigaba da girgiza kansa. "Please Safiyya, reconsider. Think about this" nace "I have. I have made up my mind. This is what I want". Ya ce "okay. But this is protocol. You have to go and think about it. When you come back next week, then we will finalize your decision". Na gyada kaina. "okay. Thank you" na mike zan tafi, har sai da na bude kofa sai kuma na rufe ina kallon sa nace "one more thing please. I don't want my father to know. I don't want anyone to know. ****. ****. ****. ****. ****. **** Ina yan kasuwar mu wadanda suke son samun more visibility for their kasuwanci? ina masu neman followers a social media pages din su? To ga dama ta samu. Ku sani cewa mai talla shi ke da riba. Come and advertise with me and I assure you that you will get value for your money. No matter how big your business is, dole kina bukatar advertisement dan samun cigaba a kasuwancin ki. Kar ki manta, hatta manyan companies irin su CocaCola, Apple, Dangote etc kullum suna cikin tallan hajar su so why not you…. Duk wanda yayi sponsoring episode zan yi masa tallan business dinsa in the episode which will be posted on whatsap, facebook, intagram and wattpad, zan kuma saka number dinsa da kuma links na social media accounts din business din sa, zanyi posting pictures and links din on my whatsaap, facebook and intagram stories for 24h. Kar ku manta, the advert on the pages will last for as long as social media exist, that means forever. I will come up with a method da zan tabbatar you get value for your money, in sha Allah. [07/01, 10:41 pm] +234 906 816 1960: ❤‍🩹*Safiyya*❤‍🩹 *By* *Maman Maama* Daga marubuciyar: Maimoon A'isha Humaira Diyam Tagwaye Jidda And now..... Safiyya *Episode Five: The Path of Destiny* For sponsorship, contact 0704 203 0419 on whatsap or send a dm to my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/maman.mamas.words?igsh=MW5yaXFqOHhubnIwaQ== Save my business number 0704 203 0419 and say hi on whatsap dan inyi saving naku. Please, dan Allah, abeg, ban da kira Ina fita na hango Mustapha yana tsaye a corridor din yana kallon kofar office din da na fito daga ciki, na dauke kaina nayi kamar ban ganshi ba na zo na wuce shi. Ya biyo baya na yana gyaran murya. "excuse me... Akwai